THE POWER CUT ATE MY BITCOIN

Finance Minister Enoch Godongwana delivered his maiden medium-term budget policy statement yesterday and stuck pretty much to the party songbook that everything will be alright provided we all got vaccinated and trusted the state program of fiscal consolidation and structural reforms. He did admit to a woodpile resident in the form of a fourth Covid-19 wave possibly turning up to cause further difficulties for National Treasury already coping with an underperforming, debt-laden economy. Sadly, our latest Finance minister is another who wears hats indoors. Superficial research suggest that this habit correlates with mostly poor performance by the person standing underneath the decoration. The excitement and even hysteria about crypto currencies continues to rise with the best known member of the clan (Bitcoin) breaching R1m in price. But definitely not in value. Tidemarks cheerfully admits to not understanding these instruments at all and his concern about how to establish a value for them was deepened after watching a video of a crypto currency mine at work. It consisted of a ton of computers linked and packed together inside a rusty goods container plonked down in the backwoods of some chilly northern hemisphere country. It was consuming lots of electrical power which was being converted mainly to heat and a few meagre arithmetic answers to unfathomably difficult sums. The only moving parts were impressive industrial sized fans trying to keep the whole shebang cool. Presumably the miner is occasionally rewarded for keeping this gizmo running with a unit of crypto currency being credited to his “wallet”. The sole possibly interesting thing is that if this credit is indeed income that can be used to purchase (or to swap for) goods and services then the tax man knows nothing about it. Yet. The COPPERS have decided to go to Egypt and United Arab Emirates for their next two meetings. These venues will probably be warmer than Glasgow and will better support their theses that Armageddon (or catastrophic sea level rise and other bad stuff) is nigh. They also confirm that eco warriors are immune to irony and devoid of common sense as these countries are great benefactors from the production and sale of oil But almost certainly the number of 5-star hotel rooms available in those venues will be closer to their needs than Clydeside has been. Too many even well meaning and knowledgeable people are now on board this bandwagon, and no one now dares to cry wolf and imperil the very large cash flows on which whole political dynasties, academic careers, huge industries and communities depend. Quietly our National Soccer team is taking successful baby steps toward getting invited to attend next year’s World Cup. There’s a long way to go but they have the second highest number of points in the African World Cup Qualifier series. It has long been a disappointment that a nation of this size didn’t do better. Mind you their celebration routine after scoring a goal would make them shoo-in victor if ever that were made into a competition. The gentlemen’s agreement not to criticise rugby referees and their decisions is crumbling fast. All over the internet (if not yet the big sports TV networks) one stumbles across respected talking heads pointing things out on endless replays. It will end to everyone’s satisfaction(?) only when the whistle man and his two flag carrying flunkies are totally replaced by technology. There are now intelligent balls that know where they are and how they got there, and individual player locations on the field are also known in real time with amazing accuracy. Imagine a loud synthesised whistle blast and a coloured icon projected on to the field which shows the position and nature of the infringement. The whole playing surface could go yellow or red and a projected circle would identify the serious miscreant and follow him all the way on his embarrassing journey to the sin bin! Perhaps it will soon be only deep inside the scrum where those present will ever know what’s really happening! But generally, all front row players deserve some privacy and respect as they go about their work. James Greener Friday 12th November 2021 Tidemarks will be suspended for the next 3 weeks as I am going to the KNP.