Cyril throws Tito a hospital pass

The major event this next week is the budget to be delivered on Wednesday. We are all aware that Minister Mboweni is quite clear that state expenditure has to be cut drastically but our President obviously hasn’t been following Tito’s Twitter account. He announced during the SONA fiasco that the budget speech would be used to provide the details of starting both a sovereign wealth fund and a state-owned bank. These will need a bit of spare cash one would think. Prepare for tax increases. The President has a dream

If one of these students busy burning and destroying their campus ever gets around to returning to work, a wonderful research topic for a small project would be to find out how there is always a steady supply of  mattresses and appliances to set alight. The problem might be firstly to find a supervisor, as most lecturers beyond a certain age have no experience of burning useful appliances and household goods. The other difficulty would be to define a faculty interested in this topic. While the old PPE mainstay (Politics, Philosophy and Economics) is often the course of choice for those students who need sufficient free time to pursue their extramural interests, perhaps the sourcing of goods like these is the realm of Commerce. Just a thought.

Dealing with people who want or need to change their country of residence is undoubtedly a task for a skilled branch of government. Just the words used to describe people who are every type and version of immigrants or refugees, hint at the problems which largely have to do with the resources of the host country. The main issue of course is to determine who and how many they are. Interestingly there is invariably opposition from some of their own citizens to this obvious step. In places where benefits are worthwhile and freely obtainable a market in forged documents is another obstacle facing even the charitable and well-meaning hosts. This week our minister of education buckled and issued instruction that public schools must accept children even if they have no ID. In the UK, an equally contentious program is apparently underway to root out and expel those who “shouldn’t” be in their kingdom. It works both ways though because news from Canada is that their recent new residents from England, now banned from using the descriptor “Sussex Royals”, are not entirely welcome by everyone in that country

Its alarming how quickly the spokesman for our defence force jumped to the suspicion that distributing the clip of a tank veering out of control and stopping just short of a crowd of watching soldiers is a conspiracy to heap scorn on our military. Lighten up lieutenant. Its just a very funny incident that thankfully ended up without injuries. One might comment however, that the audience seemed to comprise a very mixed squad in terms of uniform, hair style and body weight.

When it comes to premium brand cars, wearables and liquors this country refuses to pay any attention to just how poor it is supposed to be. Next Sunday, in Franschhoek – South Africa’s answer to a Disneyworld type fantasy park – The Veuve Cliquot Polo Series International is going to be held. A very limited number of single tickets are available, priced at R4 900 each. To show just how exclusive and expensive the shindig will be, the price of a corporate VIP pocket (?) for 10 people –including unlimited amounts of the sponsor’s bubbly -- is just R49 000. Rich folk don’t do discounts!

This week the Australian cricket team arrived in SA for a T20 series. The touring party includes at least two members who in 2018 played a Test Match against Proteas in which they intended and prepared to cheat. They were caught. Current commentary and remarks lean towards being conciliatory towards these cheats, taking the view that they were caught and served their period of suspension. I strongly reject this notion. Who can be certain that there are no players (on either side) planning to influence the outcome of the forthcoming matches by illegal means? The cost of discovery clearly falls well short of the benefit of winning.

James Greener

Friday 21^st February 2020

SONA: PLEASE CAN WE HAVE OUR MONEY BACK

To the chagrin and ire of very many people, the markets of the Great Satan (aka USA) continue to suggest that optimism is the dominant world view about this nation now led by a rather unusual man. Like the shrill warnings of imminent climate collapse (whatever that is) shouted at us by people without proper things to do, the world’s grudging acceptance of the general idea of capitalism  is rather interesting and amusing for those of us with the luxury of time to watch and think.

Whatever the shortcomings and shortcuts that hospital built by the Chinese in 10 days might have, it will forever be used by impatient citizens everywhere else to wave in the face of their own lethargic and tardy leaders. For example while there are many serious and critical electrical engineering requirements to be met before any new generating equipment can be connected to a national grid it does seem odd that a country in dire need of new power sources should take 120 days to decide if these are fit for purpose. Otherwise, it’s a great development towards privatisation. We have become so used to the glacial pace of our civil services (months and months for a new passport, weeks and weeks for a driving licence) that forever seems quite normal.

Watching the childlike antics of the spoiled and overpaid brats at their Sleep Over Night in the Assembly was enraging. Since most of the representatives are there for the money (our money of course) the Speaker should be empowered to deduct multiples of any patently misbehaving delegate’s match fee (salary) – just as in rugby. Repeats to be allowed without limit. No right of appeal to any court. Realising that one had just used up several months of forthcoming parliamentary salary might encourage a few manners and discipline to be practiced at this very unedifying circus. As the speaker said, it’s the right of everyone to listen to their elected leaders. Though she didn’t add that it’s rarely fun and will be harmful to your composure and mental wellbeing.

Apparently, we are to get a state-owned bank and a sovereign wealth fund. Details to follow the imminent budget speech. Neither of these make much sense for a nation like ours in its current state of chronic indebtedness and lethal mismatch between tax eaters and taxpayers. But these proposals merely reinforce the government’s firm intention to own everything through a process of confiscation or EWC (expropriation without compensation) as they so vividly describe it. The President this morning has received plenty of fawning praise for what at least one commentator has described as more of the same which has led to the current and worsening mess. Curious, disappointing and sad. President Cyril has no intention or ability to get SA great again.

In a rapid but lengthy excursion through some remote areas of this beautiful country (where good rains have fallen) one is reminded that there is real life away from the ubiquitous nihilism of the electronic media and blue glowing screenlets. People are getting on with things. Obviously if the official statistics are any guide, things are not proceeding at the pace they could or should be. But investment and growth are happening. On a road I had not used in a dozen years, in S W Mapumalanga, new sleek shopping malls have sprung up on the outskirts of nearly every dorp. Farm signs reveal the corporatisation of agriculture where gleaming new processing plants and factories now stand right at the roadside and the distant farmstead is often derelict. The roads are full of ore and timber trucks. Not, one must add, to the benefit of those roads. Which is why I did not get passed by any of the 11 new Ferraris sold last month in South Africa. Now that’s a number to ponder! As is the news that the contents of an eye-wateringly expensive bottle of allegedly very old single malt whisky turned out, on testing, to be younger than my new granddaughter.

Already I am baffled by the shredded Super rugby form book lying in pieces on the dressing room floors. I did however enjoy a captain explain how losing by one run is a victory for everyone.  

James Greener

The Feast of St Valentine 2020 (leap year)

THE TAX MAN COMETH

The US dollar is once again heading for parity with the Euro. That is one dollar will buy just one euro. Is this because President Trump has dodged the impeachment bullet or maybe because cheese is still on the supermarket shelves in Britain despite being out of the EU for a whole week? Some would suggest that its because the Corona Virus reportedly may have lost its sting. The real story about the virus though is the amazingly speedy and apparently politics-free scientific collaboration effort. Anyway there was a general feeling of goodwill everywhere and even our markets improved. It seems as if someone may have paid as much as R25 000 for a single Krugerrand!

Loyal readers by now must be thoroughly fed up with the monthly wail about the huge and rapidly growing gap between the government’s income and its expenditure. But it is really terrifying and getting worse rapidly. Rumour has it that the official response is going to be more and higher taxes. And the tax collector (SARS) has announced that they are going to catch tax dodgers with some high-tech tricks, including the dreaded “multi-pronged strategy”. Not to forget the appearance of The Fourth Industrial Revolution.  Cabinet and other high ups in the government have been allowed to spend far too much time with glib promoters of the Fourth Industrial Revolution as a panacea for the nation’s very severe difficulties. Track suits and blazers with a 4IR badge are everywhere.  

Little, if anything has been said about the spending side of the budget which too can be used to trim the deficit In fact it probably is now the only real effective weapon left.

The fact that the 2019 edition is sold out, even priced at £450.00 a copy, indicates good demand for Debrett's Peerage & Baronetage. This is a printed reference guide to the titled families of the United Kingdom, which like much of its material, is very thick. Often unkindly called the Stud Book for the Upper Classes this tome provides a valuable guide for those fishing in this particular gene pool for suitable breeding partners Now South Africa is rapidly evolving a society  where just a few families  are in positions of control in almost all of our state agencies as well as many private enterprises, It is simply amazing who is related to whom. This gene pool is shallow, colourful and murky. This week it turned out that Ms Portia Derby, the just appointed CEO for Transnet, was once married to Brian Molefe., the chap who spent much of his remarkably short time in the hot seat at Eskom arranging for an unforgettable pension. Really?  Where is he now? To whom is he married?

The local work would need to be computerised and copiously illustrated with colour coded family trees and jobs held in both a temporary and permanent capacity in order to keep up with the prodigious pace of job-hopping that goes on. Now there’s a task for 4IR tools like artificial intelligence and facial recognition. The other feature of our top people is their fecundity. JZ is credited almost two dozen offspring and nearly half as many wives and even a fiancé, (who complained this week about the trials of being a single parent. The father of her child. she implied, was too busy keeping out of prison (with dodgy sick notes) to spend quality time with his newest.

In the meantime, all kinds of people including Labour Union head honchos are warming to the terrible idea of “investing” workers’ pension fund money by lending it to state owned enterprises who have used up all other avenues of funding. One champion of this plan pointed out that asset managers put far too much money into dud companies like Steinhof while ignoring the job-creating potential of already egregiously over-staffed state owned enterprises. Pensioners he suggested needed returns on their money. It’s unreported if fund managers are offering him a job.

The rain in Durban this morning was unsurprising. Important cricket marches invariably summon the clouds over Kingsmead.

James Greener

Friday 7^th February 2020