I SEE NO HITS

There’s has been plenty of talking this week but among the few things that may have happened is the repeal of a section of the visa regulations by the minister who was responsible a few years ago for introducing them in the first place. They were decidedly unfriendly and scared off plane-loads of foreign visitors who allegedly were queuing up to bring us bucket-loads of money. Unfortunately, today there are other things making potential visitors and investors wary, like the terrifying levels of violent crime and a threatened withdrawal of the legal enforcement and protection of certain property rights. People who are used to living without these threats are understandably picky when it comes to choosing a place to park either their money or their sun-starved wine-deficient bodies.

It has been reported, however, that President Cyril, while in New York recently to unveil another statue of Madiba, has said that none of these lawless activities have been recorded in South Africa. This is similar to his claim that while he was Deputy President under JZ, he was totally unaware of anything approximating what is being described as State Capture. One can’t blame the man if like almost everyone in the country he has given up on the printed newspapers. But one would hope that Cyril has a team who scan all the news sources including the internet, with an experienced eye and provide their boss with summaries of stories that hopefully are not fake. It is odd that such a list would omit for example the crime stats release or the furore over land policy.  

President Trump who, because no one else seems to be inclined to do so, told the UN General Assembly that he is the finest president the USA has ever had. Only the filter of time will in due course be able to confirm if this is remotely true. It does, however, illustrate what kind of person is attracted to becoming a politician. This is a career that uniquely sets its own terms and conditions – particularly the monetary ones -- concerning their employment and retirement packages. This week it emerged that the expenses granted to many layers of the European Union bureaucracy are secret! What? Not only are most of them unelected and unanswerable to any electorate, now what they decide to pay themselves is for their eyes only. This is yet another good reason for the citizens of any nation to vote to leave this club and not pay another penny to Brussels.

Joburg city have taken the cheap option and awarded the Freedom of the City to Winne Mandela who is now dead. Costs of this honour are therefore limited to a fancy scroll handed to her heirs and tea and buns afterwards. That the venerable lady will never hear all the praise and adulation heaped upon her by the City of Gold somewhat negated the gesture.  And she’s never going to get any benefit from being exempt from parking tickets. Or have they dropped that one these days?

Only three people in the nation (and they supposedly are running the outfit) were surprised by the news that SAA’s unpublished financials will show it to be even more bankrupt than ever. And more puzzling is why a state-owned enterprise is allowed not to publish an annual report that will reveal this fact. Apparently, the delay is due to the taxpayers who have not yet paid the bail-out cash. This kind gift will then be carefully back dated in order to disguise the truth. Further, SAA has been whining that not one of the banks would even let them through the front door to discuss a loan despite the National Treasury guarantees they are clutching. Are those guarantees becoming worthless?

The crowds that have turned out to watch the Ryder cup are simply enormous. Despite being held in France, those idiots who shout “go in the hole” after every shot have regrettable also managed to find their way there. A great pity but still a wonderful tournament. Which is how the Rugby Championship is turning out as well. Optimists of every kind are already chalking up the ‘bokke for this one. The Wallabies will have other ideas for PE, not least of which will be the relief that Boet Erasmus stadium no longer exists.

James Greener

Friday 28^th September 2018

SMOKING HOT

Even while these words were being written, President Cyril was unveiling the latest set of stimuli to the country growing again. At first glance they seem different to the ones he showed us a few months ago – but don’t yet seem either to have been enacted or had much effect. The first impression of this morning’s list is that most of them seem aimed at undoing the messes created by his cabinet ministers. Particularly ones delivered by Malusi Gigaba.  Why he hasn’t been sent to find alternative employment years ago is a mystery. Interesting factoid from Google is that Gigaba’s actual first name is “Knowledge”. Indeed. The market has already gone a bit better on this news. Of the stimulus that is. We can but wait and see

Shortly before dawn on Sunday it will be the Vernal Equinox and from then it will be downhill to Summer. The public holiday the next day has become associated with feasting on large chunks of meat that usually are entrusted to the least experienced chef in the home. He opens a beer and lights a fire. What could possibly go wrong? The full colour glossy advertisements all week have been very clear about the outcome of this combination of ingredients. But the reason it’s called Heritage Day is that before nightfall, many a tong-wielding braai master will have had their heritage called into question in front of the hungry guests.

And this year not all the rising smoke will be coming from charred chops. A judge has decided that its probably OK to grow cannabis at home for one’s own consumption. Reactions are widespread starting with doubt that he meant what we thought he said. Nevertheless, stories with the word “high” woven into every paragraph are widespread. What will result from taking these first steps in decriminalising what may be one of the nation’s largest illegal industries? What happens to that huge lucrative network of production and distribution? Those guys aren’t going to take this sudden hollowing out of their income stream lightly. To whom are they going to complain? And then there’s the matter of the state’s war against tobacco – another smokable plant – which has caused massive smuggling of and illegal trade in cigarettes. As much as R7bn in tax may have been avoided and must to be “taken back” for the good of the nation. Maybe the government is even now fashioning a tax on dagga.

In the absence of a clear education policy which is agreed to by everyone and delivered fairly, the way is open for anyone with a microphone and an audience to offer their opinion of what needs to be done to improve things. In the last few years the following subjects at least have been proposed as mandatory for the already struggling and under-resourced school-goer: a Chinese language, a local indigenous language, a non-local African language, history (or a simulacrum thereof) and then this week, computer coding. Each of these subjects and others have promoters proffering cogent reasons for introducing them to school children. But even the richest school struggles to find sufficient teachers and time to expose their customers to basic subjects like home language, maths, life sciences and physical sciences. Not to mention the clearly ineffective “Life Orientation” nonsense that snuck onto the curriculum when it was suspected that many parents were unable to guide their offspring towards adulthood. For a nation at the foot of virtually every international education league table, the sole way out is the “less is more” dictum, a path best taken with baby steps. This week President Cyril came up with a plan to get people building school desks. What a great idea.

Fortunately, there is no Test rugby this weekend so we ‘boks’ fan can bathe in the happy memory of beating the All Blacks at home for another week. Various people will no doubt try to goad me into reacting about the Sharks / Lions Currie Cup encounter but to be honest an administration that manages to have at least two teams called the Cheetahs playing simultaneously has eroded my interest in the game.

James Greener

Friday 21^st September 2018

PLEASE HAVE YOUR PASSPORTS READY

Our currency pulled back from last week’s weakness but it didn’t look as if there was much money flowing into shares as the indices mostly sagged. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a nice big shake out so we could use the old fashioned valuation tools and see what’s what again?

Presumably someone knows exactly what powers the KwaZulu-Natal Quality of Life Portfolio Committee might have. But for the rest of us it sure looks like a severe case of fruitless and wasteful expenditure. Not to say unwarranted and unnecessary meddling in individual choice. If President Cyril really was the steely eyed decisive businessman we are assured he is he would long ago have asked for a list of all the national and provincial outfits with names like this and closed them down with a stroke of the pen. No argument. Assuredly closing the deficit by increasing taxes is now way past the point of diminishing returns and for our president to live up to his alleged abilities he must immediately slash the state wage and expenses bills.

Unless students have changed markedly in recent years, the model of using a “student centred model” for spending R17bn to aid 518000 students might just have a few flaws. Hopefully the National Student Financial Aid scheme doesn’t just dish out around R30 000 cash to each successful applicant for aid to pay his or her fees and accommodation costs. Students of old would have made short work of that kind of folding money and going past the fees office would not have been first on the agenda. The used car lot and the bottle store might just have edged in before the accommodation bureau too. This business of giving people money they have not earned is fraught with problems.

Yet another official inquiry involving the Guptas is underway. This time we are all curious to know just how Zuma’s chums managed to get South African citizenship so swiftly and seamlessly. In contrast people with real skills and qualification battle to get even a visa to come and work here. The reporting on the inquiry is not very clear but it does seem that the family, amongst other promises of largess and love of their adopted country listed almost 80 schools which would benefit from gifts and handouts. Only now at the inquiry are education officials admitting that neither the schools nor the gifts ever existed. And yet JZ is stoutly claiming that there was not and never has been such a thing as “state capture”. Admittedly it is a rather sophisticated grammatical construction which for non-English speaking people might more clearly be rendered as “unofficial agencies and private citizens taking control of state functions”.  Whichever wording you choose, however, it is clearly not what voters were offered by a Zuma presidency nor what most of us liked as we came to realise what was taking place. We owe whoever leaked those Gupta emails a great debt of gratitude for bringing our nation back from the brink.

A related story concerns one Ashu Chawla who has left the country. This is despite being on bail, and surrendering his passport pending further developments in the dreadful Estina dairy farm corruption case where he is a co-accused. Presumably Mr Chawla, who already has demonstrated his influence with home affairs in the Gupta citizenship matter (for which he is also required to give evidence) arranged appropriate replacement travel documents for himself and is even now measuring for curtains in his penthouse somewhere in India or Dubai.

 Too many of these suspects are nipping off before we can find out what they were up to. If we could find a large secure escape-proof enclave like an island on which to keep these dubious characters instead of granting them bail, it might also prod the justice system to speed things up a bit. Any suggestions?

It’s comforting to see that there are still optimists who can envisage a scenario where the’ bokke beat the All Blacks tomorrow. All sorts of advice like not kicking away possession, passing quickly and accurately and not giving away penalties seems fair enough, but finding a place for breakfast tomorrow which doesn’t have a TV screen is still the best bet for those of us of sensitive disposition.

James Greener

Friday 14^th September 2018