BIRD CALLS 101

The US dollar is almost at parity with the Euro. This is a rare situation, experienced last for a few months around the time of the millennium. In its simplest terms it signals that sentiment favours the USA over Euroland as an investment destination. Presumably the war in Ukraine is a major factor being considered by those making this choice. However, it is strange that the plummeting public approval ratings for team Gaga and Giggle in the White House is not a greater concern. Maybe the smart money knows and trusts the people in the background calling the shots for the USA. Did you see how even the Easter Bunny interposed itself between the President and a pesky probing questioner. The spooks are everywhere!

The government appears to have woken up to the fact that the 2022 Census may not be achieving its objectives. Messages and pop-ups of encouragement to take part, infest the internet. Slated to end in the middle of next month, this exercise to find out how many people live within our borders seems to have started ages ago. But in common with many others, Tidemarks is not sure that the fact that he owns a washing machine and has a landline phone has been properly recorded.

Those people that you see with their noses buried in their phones became very excited this week by the news that ownership of Twitter had changed. This is a rather cleverly named computer program (“app”, to the cognoscenti) that anyone can use freely to share their opinions, prejudices and sense of humour with someone who cares and untold millions who don’t. Twitter is a very popular app (short for application - ugh) among dozens of this genre (social media – more ugh) and is a good place to start when searching for crazies, bigots and extremists of every stripe.   Sometimes the opinions offered offend the owner/controller or one of his friends and just like in the days of newspapers, (remember them?)  the publisher can delete the Tweet and even ban (cancel – another ugh) the Twitterer altogether. Whether this actually constitutes an infringement of any relevant Freedom of Speech legislation is moot.  Twitter’s new owner is now Elon Musk, the Pretoria-born and brought up boytjie whose talents and achievements are extremely impressive, dwarfed only by his ability to rustle up over a weekend the $44bn to cover this purchase. Elon has already announced that the company will filter out only illegal contributions.  Let’s see how that works out! There is no limit to man’s ability to be evil. Equally interesting will be the financial return on this investment. Just like Tidemarks there is no subscription fee to read Twitter!

It is reported that China would like to build a highspeed train service between Joburg and Durban. What a splendid and generous idea. Presumably Chinese taxpayers will fund the project wont they? Everyone knows that if an SA outfit tried that trick, the money and the railway lines would go missing at about the same rate.  Presumably the focus for this project is freight.  Passengers for this 600km route are already served by flights that take about 45 minutes and an express train service with a best time of 14h30m. This is an average speed about 41kph. Goods trains go even slower. Google reveals that there are bullet trains in China that attain average speeds in excess of 300kph. Have the designers been told that there is an 1800m elevation change between the two cities? Based on pictures and movies on the internet the Chinese are very bold and innovative transport designers. This is going to be great fun to watch.

The United Rugy Championship seems to be taking a second wind now that the Northeners have ventured to the southern tip. Unfortunately, there are still officials in SA issuing decrees about how many people can participate and even watch sports events and this doesn’t help the public relations. Neither does the allegedly abysmal refereeing which has inspired some utterly brilliant sports writing that implies and hints about this aspect of the matches.  Perhaps it was never considered that the Stormers and the Sharks could be this high up the table?

James Greener

Friday 29^th April 2020.

CHANGE CONCERN. CARBON CAPTURES COVID

The KZN provincial leader has vowed that his abuse of privilege will never happen again. That’s probably true as far as having a tanker load of water delivered to his house so that his wife could cook meals for the flood victims. In all the back pedalling and apologies one thing is still unclear. Where on earth did he put all that water?

So National Treasury promised to send Durban some R2bn to help it cope with the disastrous floods. Many internet commentators are convinced that this will prove to be an irresistible sum for attention of the professional looters, aka politicians. Tidemarks has a plan that could be very useful in watching to see if this does happen and even recover any money that does flow in unusual directions. All it will require is for the banks where this money has been deposited, to alter the way the accounts holding these funds work. Simply allow anyone at all to go online and inspect the withdrawals and balances at any time. [Do of course absolutely ensure that no other activity can be hacked into the feature!] Perhaps a slightly larger field in the ledger record for capturing a description of the payee and their target for the public funds they have received, would prevent some misunderstandings. In this way we all become auditors. Come to think of it any bank account holding public monies should have this feature. It won’t do any harm enlisting the help of us taxpayers to oversee the spending.   Just in case any custodian of such funds tries to direct them to illicit schemes and family members.

The floods have caused the chattering classes and amateur pundits quietly to transfer their attention back to the topic of climate change. Trying to understand all that virus information is getting very confusing now that there are considerable differences between nations and institutions on what to do about stuff like masks and lockdowns. But lethal, once-in-living- memory rainstorms, are much more tangible and the politician photo-ops are considerably more dramatic than an arm and a hovering hypodermic. Further news is that very foolish legislation about “Net Zero” and other meaningless and ineffective activity and behaviour is coming soon. Oh dear.

Basically, the so-called Berea Red sand formations are a lousy place to build a city. Even before they get sodden, they tend to slump with little encouragement. This is one reason why the damage to lives and property was so immense last week when a so-called rain bomb exploded over Durban. No number of regulations and sensible advice is ever going to stop poor people building on the flood plains and precipitous slopes near to the places where they hope to find work. And rich people like the views afforded by scaling a hill and placing an infinity pool on the edge of the precipice. It is noticeable how many foundation failures show that the swimming pool led the way in towing the home down the hill. And the gaping chasms and sinkholes that have opened, have provided a view of the substrate and suggest that practical and affordable foundations in this red stuff are very difficult when the rain comes.

It takes a deliberately masochistic act for a normal cricket fan to take an interest in the IPL T20 tournament that has become a fixture in the sports calendar. Its all so gaudy and frantic and the team names don’t always help in deciding who to support. What the tournament does offer, however, is statistics. By the truck load. Totals, averages, rates and multiple other indicators for both teams and individuals can be mined and analysed without end. It’s no territory for the 30%ers.   Presumably these all satisfy gambling demands but it sure also beats train spotting for the inner nerd.

Similarly intriguing in the sports section is the news that Serena Williams and Lewis Hamilton have joined a bid to buy Premier League football club Chelsea. The very rich do have way too much time on their hands but it does illustrate the power of markets continuously to redistribute wealth. If this purchase comes to pass will Chelsea players then cease to “take the knee” before every match?

James Greener

Friday 22^nd April 2022

 

WET WET WHAT?

In all the jargon swirling about the alarming idea of creating central bank digital currency the weasel word to watch for is probably “programmable”. Simply this means that the operating authority has the power to decide where you can spend your money. A sort of example for this extremely worrying development, appeared in Canada recently when a fund comprising voluntary donations to aid the huge number of enthusiastic and possibly misguided protesting truck drivers assembled with their huge rigs in the nation’s capital. President Trudeau decided that these donations were probably illegal, and the money was confiscated (stolen) by the government. Hmm. Some kind of tax or fine? The same president is now on a mission to issue journalists with licences. Because of this kind of thinking and regulation, its hard to tell if there is widespread public support for these actions. It does however seem that the events of the last two years have encouraged people to accept their government’s “wisdom” without question.

In fact the overall level of common sense seems to have plummeted and the tiresomely ungrammatical term “Woke” describes a mental condition worthy of extreme ridicule. UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson may not be the wisest man to have lived at No 10. He may be among the most (note not “best”) educated. Much of the media and citizenry want him fired because he allegedly broke a “law” and attended a party at which the Covid-19 virus may have also been a guest. For goodness’ sake! There are few enough people on that soggy island capable of or desirous to try and run the place. He won the last election handsomely; let him get on with it and vote him out next time. Remember Boris did actually become infected and survived covid in 2020. He has done the hard yards.

Our own President Frogboiler on the other hand is ignoring even his own advice and toured the flood-devastated province of KZN from behind a severe black surgical mask. He was undeniably outdoors, where masking is no longer required so it hard to know what example he was trying to set. Perhaps he relishes the fact that talking trough a mask renders the speaker’s message largely unintelligible. Sadly, the scenes he saw were of total devastation. Ironically, large swathes of the city are without potable water as the flood appeared to have targeted and destroyed a vital junction of two massive water pipes. Or aqueducts, to use the correct jargon. Early pictures of the site suggest it’s not going to be a fast fix. One resident who appears so far to be unaffected is the large crocodile who for years has lurked under a short road bridge on the M4 northern freeway. The bridge is now damaged beyond repair by the floods and will be replaced. Construction crews might rightly be reluctant to approach the spot until old “Toothy” is relocated

The ANC political party took over governing South Africa in 1994 from the moral high ground. They now, however, are firmly lodged in the swamp of corruption. Their own rules and recommendations for how to do their job of governing the nation lie in tatters. The sole motivation of any office-seeking party member is to get a seat close to the trough of public money flows. They are shameless and impossible to embarrass into apology or resignation. Already mere hours into the state of emergency called to rebuild KZN, the stories of relief funds flowing in unusual directions are on the internet. Previous president Jacob Zuma hinted that unless some of the legal bods appointed to officiate at his (endlessly postponed) trial for multiple crimes are removed, the nation could experience riots again. Blackmail?

There’s almost too much sport to watch these days. Fortunately, the local Sharks games against the Bulls this weekend has been cancelled because of the floods. That’s how bad it is.

James Greener

Maundy Thursday, 2022

 

PS The Bowling Club was submerged and the wag who launched a canoe and toured the premises reported that the beer fridges are in poor shape. Uh oh.