VOTER’S REMORSE

Standing in the queue at the polling station provides a fine opportunity for marvelling at how cumbersome this kernel of the democratic process still is. The counting of the votes part seems to be particularly inefficient but in the past it was not. That these days there are fewer bank tellers experienced in counting currency notes volunteering to duty on election night might have something to do with it. Having ballot papers the size of a bed sheet also doesn’t help. At my polling station, the lass wielding the ruggedised iPad device was the bottleneck in the process. After scanning one’s ID card or book with the wireless device, it yielded a number that she clearly announced, and which was then handwritten on the back of the ballot paper. Does that not create a direct link between voter and vote? It was however comforting to see the gentleman who pushes the ballot papers into the ballot box slot with a plastic ruler is still on duty. And really that flatpack polling station furniture suite is pure genius. The provincial secretary of the ANC, a party that seems to have lost considerable support country wide, is reported as saying “something has gone horribly wrong in KZN”. That is perhaps the sole truth of the week. There are astonishing video clips of municipal employees clutching papers and their lunchtime sandwiches, being physically bundled out of municipal buildings. There is no time to waste when it comes to getting aboard the gravy train. The national penchant for ceremonies was indulged last night when a closing ceremony for the election gave President Frogboiler an opportunity to drone on about democratic right, civic duty and a quote from Rubi who told Cyril that she had faith in the leaders of South Africa. But perhaps the 2021 local authority election has shown that South Africans are utterly disillusioned with eternal political promises which will not and cannot ever be fulfilled while the public sector squats like an evil giant bull frog on top of the economy, hoovering up the biggest and fattest flies attracted by the corpse beneath. As expected, the flow of hot carbon dioxide-loaded air at COP 26 has been epic. Everyone including the Prince of Wales has a Plan for how the nearly 8bn of us on this planet ought to behave. Remarkably there is also a Plan for little old us down here on the southern tip. The European Union, Germany, France, the UK and the US have partnered to support South Africa’s climate action goals. They are keen to help us with something called a “Just Energy Transition” which means moving from our heavy reliance on coal to cleaner and renewable energy sources. The glossy wish list announcement opens with 15 paragraphs starting with words like “recognising”, “welcoming” and “embracing” and ends with 5 action paragraphs beginning with “establish” and “explore” All very grown up and official looking. But wait, there’s money: USD 8.5bn which we can all be sure will find no better custodian than the South African Government. Already the local politicians – who obviously knew this was coming -- have thrown their hats into the ring on behalf of the communities and special interests they support. Brace yourself for the blazer badges reading Net Zero Carbon to replace last year’s natty 4IR logo. (4th Industrial Revolution- remember that?). Sorry to harp on though, but it’s the gaps in the physics and chemistry that need attention. It’s not yet feasible to replace the energy available in a 5l jerry can of petrol with something equally portable. Whenever the Australian cricket team appear on the TV in the bar at the bowling club, unrestrained booing still breaks out. The relatively lenient punishment handed out to the players in their test team that went onto a field with sandpaper in their underwear obviously determined to cheat, rankles deeply. So it was very satisfying to see Australia beaten (even if it was only by England) at the T20 world cup tournament. They only just scraped a win against SA. What’s that? The Proteas meet England tomorrow? Pah! And now three back-to-back F1 Grands Prix. That’s a tough ask but look who is asking. The money bags! James Greener Friday Guy Fawkes Day 2021