There is an organisation called the Johannesburg Roads Agency. It probably occupies a very confused space as multiple nationally owned and administered roadways traverse its territory. This is fertile ground for “Not my Job” excuses. Its most recent quarterly report almost cheerfully admits that the status of the 12 000km road network it does care for, ranges from poor to very poor and requires rehabilitation or reconstruction. Its own scorecard records 45 000 pot holes in need of filling. It further notes that 68 city bridges need urgent repair. This is not good news, and you would think that the organisation works ceaselessly to do something about this. You would be wrong. Its CEO, who styles himself “Hon. Dr Tshepo Mahanuke”, reportedly spends much of his time keeping a lookout for any sign of disrespect for his qualifications. Greetings or communication not addressing him appropriately are ignored and returned unread. The best part of this story, however, is that most of these honourifics, qualifications and titles are bogus, or fake, having been issued by dodgy and in some cases non-existent institutions! Joburgers need not expect their potholes to be fixed any time soon. Tshepo is busy getting his newest certificate as a member of the Mickey Mouse club framed.
Tidemarks has been very quiet recently because his granddaughter – remember I told you about the most beautiful one on the planet – has been visiting from Edinburgh. And as grandparents know, these creatures require nearly unlimited attention and entertaining. Normally ice cream and beach can satisfy much of the demand but this year it has been hard to make a case for either. Firstly, the weather has quite frequently been below “Durban at Christmas Time” specification, And then sea water pollution has been dreadful. Although the daily official measurements of sea water contamination for certain beaches in the area have caused All Clear signs to go up, the colour and odour of the ocean is uninviting. Importantly users are not convinced and people with sensitive noses are staying away. Indoor venues such as Ushaka Marine World and the large and glitzy shopping malls are however well attended showing that there is pent up demand and certainly some disposable cash is knocking about.
Increasingly though, more and more vendors and venues are refusing cash and accepting only electronic payments. One wonders to what extent this development is being tapped into and taken note of by supporters of things like state controlled digital currency. Mind you it seems that South Africa remains a key point is the money laundering business so the Leopard and the Buffalo my be with us for a while still.
Meanwhile many organisations are using this time of reduced attention to slip possibly controversial news releases into the public domain. For example, The World Bank seeks to expand its lending capacity to address climate change and other global crises. These changes will require additional staff and budget resources, which have declined by 3% in real terms over the past 15 years. Another case of good money after bad. The only useful aspect of the huge cold weather system that punished much of the northern hemisphere recently is that some more folk may have begun to join those of us who are unconvinced that there is much meaning or point to “Net Zero”.
Man but That Dakar Rally is a tough ne?
James Greener
Friday 6th January 2023
