TV CRIME SOLVED

Brand new Finance Minister Enoch Godongwana’s first piece of legislation bears the ominous name of the Second Special Appropriation Bill. And it needs to be akin to magic. He must conjure up almost R33bn to pay for Covid-19 relief grants, soldiers’ deployment and support for the government’s all-risk insurer, SASRIA. Anecdotal evidence about claims on the last-named mendicant, arising from the looting frenzy, suggest this will not be quickly resolved. Just two months ago Enoch’s predecessor, Chef Tito, launched a similar cry for help. Soon thereafter he quit. He knew this larger call was inevitable. The sole bright and entertaining news concerns the looted TV sets which the manufacturer can disable remotely, just as soon as the screen is connected to the internet. Theft-proof TVs? Now there’s a thing. The staff who work at the offices of the ANC political party have not received salaries for a couple of months. These workers are now on strike but unfortunately for their sacrifices few outside of their bubble will notice or care. Reportedly the ANC still owes the taxman the PAYE deductions. Private sector employers are painfully aware that the tax man takes a very dim view of this practice! The great attraction of landing a job on these fringes of the least productive sector of the economy, is the possibility of discovering a cozy niche overlooking a strong and steady cashflow into which one can on occasion dip a sticky finger. Despite this and other ploys from the text book on state capture, the dire unemployment situation is affecting both rank and file members as well as senior ruling party cadres. The most prominent of these is no less than previous President Zuma, who this week released a glossy begging letter complete with bank account number for anyone who feels like helping out the old fellow. How humiliating for a man who once rubbed shoulders with some of the sleaziest conmen ever to have left India. Presumably the Guptas no longer take calls from Jacob. Our deputy president David Mabuza is a disappointing fellow. He seems to think that he has been the victim of poisoning attempts on several occasions. And presumably as a result, doesn’t trust anyone very much. For example, he chooses to go to Russia for medical treatment whenever he feels a bit off colour. He was no sooner back from his latest check up there when one out of the six generating units at the Medupi power station exploded. Its not known if he was scheduled to go and take a look at this shiny new piece of Eskom kit but it is reported that he feels that this failure rate represents a “fair” outcome. Really? So every sixth bridge, plane and high-rise must be treated with caution? Wow. The folk over at Stats SA have been having a great deal of fun playing with the nation’s GDP numbers. This week they published a whole new way of classifying and counting the figures. This revealed an economy about 11% larger than we thought, but still behind Nigeria and Egypt. In Stats SA’s own words there has been little time to inspect “under the hood” to see what the changes mean to our understanding, but both Education and Health have been reclassified as Personal Services instead of Government. This has the effect of vastly reducing the apparent share that the state has in the economy. Hmmmm? Curiously the growth rates -- the period to period change in the overall GDP number -- are little affected by the reclassifications but do remember all the sums are done with a data set that is entirely restated in the new bases. It has been decided that the half dozen tests outstanding in the northern hemisphere-baiting named Rugby Championship will all be played in Queensland. This is the Australian state that has just announced the creation of a concentration quarantine camp in the outback for unhealthy people suspected of being capable of passing on the Delta Variant of the Corona Virus. Can these events be a mere coincidence? Few predicted that the clash between people and their politicians would reach its climax in the calendar of sports fixtures. James Greener Friday 27th August 2021