The talking heads on the TV business channels have been getting very excited about the number of consecutive days that the markets have been down. In the US at times it appeared as if the end of the world was nigh. However, the Dow is now just 12% off the recent peak reached in May, and 30% off the 2007 pre-crises glory days. Here on the JSE the equivalent numbers are 10% and 20%. This is certainly not yet the work of the fierce bear that some commentators have told us to expect. It is entirely possible that markets could fall a lot further. Pretty soon however, we will again reach levels where gentle topping up of portfolios might be a good idea.
Actuaries around the world must be wondering about companies that use assets other than cash to pay pension contributions for their employees. In one case, where a distillery is meeting its obligations with barrels of Scotch whisky, this might just about be OK. Provided, of course, that the pensioners do take a drop now and then. Ford workers, however, are probably worried to see to see their company printing share certificates to send over to the pension fund administrators. I am sure they would still prefer paper with dead presidents’ heads on despite that particular asset’s own shortcomings.
Unfortunately the goodwill surrounding the World Cup appears to be dwindling at about the same rate that the teams and supporters are now going home. Eskom workers are adamant that they need to strike to draw attention to their paltry incomes. The country has already become used to not having reliable power and is indifferent to their complaints. Just as long as the lights remain on for the few remaining matches. The country can, however, be justifiably proud of the way in which it has confirmed its reputation as an excellent venue and host for large events. I do hope that all the police and their vehicles which have appeared in these weeks are not mothballed until next time though. Where on earth did they come from? One small casualty of the event was the English language. A slogan that is plastered on almost everything invites us to “Celebrate Africa’s Humanity”. What does this mean? What ought I be doing? Is this continent more humane than others?
Has General Cele’s private banker has been noticing all these stories about the police chief mislaying wads of cash? She really should nip round and explain to him the benefits of internet banking, debit cards, ATMs and all the other excellent services which would remove the need for the poor chap to have so much folding money on hand. His accountant will also welcome the improved information flows about his client’s financial activities when it comes to preparing the General’s tax return. Similarly his prospective father-in-law would undoubtedly have been happier if the lobola payment had been transferred directly into his account. Counting tens of thousands of grubby notes is so tiresome. (Is the receipt of lobola a Capital Gains Tax event?) The biggest benefit of all though is that the public would get reassurance that their head of police was not involved in anything shady or suspicious.
Are the clowns that run soccer worried that technology might reveal some dreadful flaw in the way the game is played? Why else do they continue to deny letting the referee have access to technology that would enable him to ensure that the laws are obeyed. Like awarding a score for a ball that crosses the goal line or identifying whether a life threatening injury was really inflicted and deserving of a penalty?
Wimbledon finals, the start of the Tour de France and yet more soccer await the channel surfers. There is hardly an opportunity to get out and top up the Castle stocks. At least there is still a week before the real stress of the tri-nations begins.
James Greener
2nd July 2010.
