Finance Minister Enoch Godongwana clearly is a funny man. The front cover of the glossy pamphlet publication containing the Medium Term Budget speech he delivered on Wednesday, carries a picture of a young man peering over a precipice into a large canyon probably caused by the unusual rains in KZN 6 months ago. Its message is clear. “Stand Back – The Government is coming to Help”. Citizens who live in nations where there is a risk of this kind of message, wisely put large distances between themselves and the sleek car load of ribbon-cutters who materialised in unsuitable footwear to waft platitudes and wolf down wafers and wine. Filling canyons and repairing pumps have no need for politicians smiling for the cameras.
While ignoring the plight of outfits such as serial losers SAA, the all but defunct Post Office and the Land Bank, the National Treasury gratifyingly these days seems unafraid simply to ignore the plaintive cries for money from the nearly 300 other State Owned Enterprises whose business model once upon a time ludicrously forecast that demand for their products and services would easily cover costs. A claim that almost never turned out to be true.
Trudging through the huge number of newsletters and opinions that the internet serves up every day it is emerging that despite the world’s capital cities being infested with loonies of every stripe, the storemen and women have been quietly getting on with their job of ordering and taking delivery of stores. One significant figure is perhaps that gas supplies for most people in Europe are now standing at very comfortable levels thank you. That’s not the same as saying that the prices are the same as last year but one is seeing fewer articles about the decision of whether “to eat or “to heat” Whatever the supply chain disruptions threatening to make life unbearable, it appears that the reality is that most people will find what they need and even Thanksgiving and Christmas should be quite festive affairs. The stories about retailers preparation for “Black Friday”, traditionally the first day of the year when merchants take in enough money to clear the debt accumulated all year, are rising in levels of excitement. People, as they say, are making plans!
For a few weeks now the US dollar has been worth pretty much exactly what a euro is worth. That is, one can put the notes of both currencies into the same slot in your wallet or purse and in theory whether you are in Milwaukee or Milan one should be able to pay for lunch with a mixture of notes, using their face value. This monetary milestone wont yet have made much of an impression on the average waitron so if you are planning a transglobal journey this weekend it’s probably best to have backup in the form of plastic tokens.!
The scrambling and rustling noises you hear are the sounds of comrades, cadres and chancers erasing all records they used to have of a once mystical but now evil place called Phala Phala, the game farm owned by our much esteemed President Frogboiler. This place which seems to have once been the headquarters of a busy cash laundering business is everyday receiving more attention from the tax man and the Reserve Bank and we are promised non-luxury transport arrangements from the farm to the prison any day now. The guys with the information are suddenly getting eager and vindictive and just last night a one-time boss man from Eskom plus many of his family members peered at the sky from between bars. Are our wildest wishes coming true and will The Guptas get kicked out of Dubai?
Excitement is growing over the forthcoming coronation of the new Zulu king here in Durban this weekend. Puzzlingly the crowning bit has apparently already happened up in Zululand itself and what happens tomorrow in a local football stadium is the rather anti-climactic hand over of an official certificate in which the king’s status is officially noted by the government. VIP international guests have been invited though whether the new fellow in Downing Street may not attend as he is still working out how to use the appliances.
James Greener
Friday 28th October 2022
